The word fulfilled which means to make-full is often misunderstood for a feeling of joy and elation. Or one may say I have a good job, a reliable car, a nice relationship so I feel fulfilled in my life, there’s nothing more that I could want. But to be fulfilled actually means that there is no more dependency on anything outside of oneself. One is fulfilled therefore there is nothing that the individual needs beyond that which can be provided within. Therefore, one would be completely contented sitting alone along the banks of a river enjoying the sounds of nature. There are no demands pressed upon the individual and likewise the individual makes no demands of anyone else. So, it means to be completely self-reliant. This sounds absolutely horrifying to most people especially to those who say in relationships “Do you need me?”
So to be completely self-reliant means letting go of all attachments and being completely free of fear. Free of the fear of uncertainties of life. The fear of losing one’s spouse or girlfriend, children, the house, and the car, the friends, as well as the fear of being rejected from society for not conforming. Losing one’s club membership and all that other nonsense that the individual has been conditioned into believing that one needs in order to have a fulfilled and happy life. Because the things we attempt to control, to own ends up controlling us and owning us. For example, if one has bought a new car and is trying to keep the car looking new. One is constantly looking after the car, admiring it every chance one gets, buying the alarms to inform oneself if anything gets near it so that one may be prompted into action to mitigate anything that may possibly come close to it so that we may watch carefully. And of course the car eventually experiences a scratch or a ding, and with each new ding or scratch we soon find ourselves not as protective anymore. So it’s a learning of letting go of that which we have been humbled to realize is something beyond our control. So what we control ends up controlling us. Do you see this?
So as we are examining what it means to be fulfilled we realize that fear is at the heart of it. To understand fear is the beginning of understanding oneself and what it is that underlies the superficial, conditioned being that you are. Because you are more than the make-up you wear. More than the clothes that you have. More than the flesh and the blood. Because beyond all of the illusions there awaits an entity hidden away in the corner that has been for so long neglected, but is nonetheless excited to finally meet you. Because we have been led to believe that the more we connect with this entity, this wondrous being, that is you, the more we are socially incompetent. So in our society we have been taught that to be self-reliant, to be fulfilled, to be in essence a human being is unhealthy. Because to eat alone or to do anything alone is obviously a sign that the individual is incapable of friendship, of establishing and keeping healthy relationships with another. They must be a horrible or miserable person. So once we lose the fear of what other may people think, how other people may react, of losing all the things that one has become attached to, all the fears… then, one can begin to examine the self within and become fulfilled.